Ever have a run that just pissed you off? Then you got even more pissed off for being pissed off? That’s how my long run went today…
Ahhh, Saturday morning run, how I had been looking forward to you. I got up extra early for a Saturday so I could get in a long run. It’s hard for me to get up and immediately head out. Instead, I had my coffee and a protein shake for fuel. Washed some clothes and did a little house work to get my blood flowing.
The weather was perfect. Nice and cool, low humidity and a breeze. I had decided that I would run to the highway. It’s right at 6 miles there and back. It has some pretty steep hills, so I knew it would be a challenge. But I was up for a good challenge.
I was irritated from the start over road conditions. It is extremely dry here. I live and run on a gravel road. The county road crew has graded our road twice while we have been in this dust out state. The dust is so bad, it’s like someone has dumped loads of brown flour all down the road. Since it is so dry, all grading does is drag loose gravel from one side to the other. It’s like running on marbles. It’s a constant battle to keep from slipping and falling. Then there is this dog that is mean as the devil and is determined to bite my leg. (Beth and Sarah, not your dogs, they love me now!) This morning I had to kick him in the face to get him back. Then I got chased by sheep.
My first 4 miles went good, slow, but good. I struggled with a couple of the hills, but I made it up them. At mile 4.5 I began to get light headed and shaky. I could tell my sugar had dropped and I was quickly losing steam. Phil was working at the home so I texted him and asked if he would bring me some peanut butter and crackers. He showed up with those, water, protein bars and a protein shake. And what did I do? Nothing nice, that’s for sure. Bit his head off for not rolling the window down fast enough. (yeah, I’m smart like that). Hurt his feelings and made him mad, rightly so. I was a complete b*tch. He tried to get me to ride back home, but I was determined to run 6 miles today. He was kind enough to fill my water bottle and make sure I was ok before heading back home.
I kept going and finished. My time wasn’t as bad as I had expected it to be. Usually when I finish a run I feel great, I have that runners high. Not today. I should be proud of myself for running 6 miles, but I’m not. I’m ashamed of myself for being a complete jackass to my biggest supporter. I’m ashamed of myself for not being better fueled for a 6 mile run. I’m ashamed of myself because somehow I missed what a beautiful morning it was and how good my life is and all the blessings God has poured on me.
As for Phil, he forgave me, fortunately he still does after 31 years.